i'm not exactly sure what that means to me as of yet; but i'm sure i'll find out in the near future. it was a while back after a salvia trip...

i decided to ask 'the divine sheppardess' for advice, preparing a spot down in our creek as a natural environment for 'the trip'. i built a makeshift bench out of trees i cut down, and made into logs, and piles of dirt. i built a fire pit, gathered nice chunks of wood, and some twigs and dry leaves to get the fire started. i figured since the edge of our property has alot trees surrounding the area i prepared for the trip, it'd have a natural effect on sounds and energies.

so, as it gets dark, i light the fire and meditate on what it is exactly that i wish to learn. i'd been turning over and over, up and down in my head a whirlpool of worries, where am i to be in the next few years, what am i to do with my life? why does it seem like things are spinning out of control; not only within myself, but within the world around me. i tamed these thoughts with my will to understand, and my trust in nature.

i take a hit from the pipe i had packed with salvia, finishing the whole bowl. i started counting in anticipation, like i had so many times before, but knowing this time was different in terms of purpose. it wasn't a recreational thing, it was somewhat of a mystical and spiritual thing. a journey into the mind and spirit, and even into the energies throughout and around... 26, 27, 28... i stare deep into the fire, flames spitting up and dissapearing into the air... 29, 30....

that familiar 'rush' of inexplainable emotion and sensory 'modification' came over me. the fire seemed intense, started spitting a sort of yellow-green sort of flame. everything around seemed to kaleidescope in and out of focus; then from the fire, gracefully dancing up and around the moon, a woman dressed in formless emerald cascades with infinate folds that sent tremors downward, finally resting after a peaceful collision with various golden embers. she had a beautiful glowing face, a pale-silverish color, like that of the moon. she spoke, her voice gently reflecting off the trees and back to form an underlying tone, the sound of a chorus of angels, complimenting her every word... "you carry a burden, cursed with the worries of the world. i will lift this weight from your shoulders for now." i was confused as where to go with that. so she continued "focus on your passions, sew the seeds of truth..." with that, she 'kaleidescoped' back into the fire, spinning the world around me until the effects of the substance sizzled then declined back into the baseline.

i lit up a cigarette and headed back to the house. the phrase playing in my head like a broken record: "sew the seeds of truth..."

sew the seeds of truth...